It's been awhile since I last updated this silly little site. At the time of writing this entry (December 28,2024), there isn't an actual about section on here so this will be taking its place for now. My name is Ninten and I spend a lot of time doing art :). I've taken up doll making as a hobby this year and have around 15 dolls that I made this year. The current ones I make at the moment are made from polymer clay and fabric from clothes and pillow cases that aren't being used anymore. One of the dolls I made used an old shirt that was given to me from a family member because it had too many holes and wasn't very comfortable to wear. In my opinion, it's very relaxing and gives me something to do.

The biggest difficulty in making this site is the fact that I have a massive fear of this not being perfect. I've spent a lot of time looking at other people's sites and seeing perfectly curated sites with lots of clickable things. I've become very content with keeping this site simple unless I decide to unlease the horrors onto my beloved mystery page for all to see. So far, my main priority is making this site functional and not slowdown someone's computer because I decided to the world's largest, most blinged out picture on the homescreen. This is very tempting but I won't do it.

I'm keeping this as simple as I can for now so I don't overwhelm myself. I do want this section to have an actual sidebar so that every entry is organized and has a name of its own. Hopefully that doesn't take too long teehee

my...my sidebar im cryinggggg

December 31, 2024: Originally I was going to make a sidebar but the task became a bit convoluted. I'll try again some other time so I don't frustrate myself more. It would be funnier for this to go on without tabs >:)

January 1 2025: I finally figured out the sidebar situation after finding out the easiest way to do it was through tabs. Took a while and now I got to this point. I'm really trying not to make this section all about coding but I can't help it lol. Depending on how I feel, I might end up separating everything out instead of having them in large pages like I currently do but I like the look of it right now. I hope you like large hitboxes >:) Happy new year :)

January 2 2025: I bought Forever Kingdom on December 31, 30 minutes before the new year started. It was out of impulse, not due to the fear of never getting this game physically, but because I wasn't doing ok mentally. It is an odd thing honestly but it was better than crying more than I did hours before that moment. All I have to do now is wait for 2 weeks and hopefully it isn't scratched to hell and back.

January 3,2025: Hopefully this picture loads correctly on this page. A late Christmas/Birthday gift arrived yesterday and I'm very grateful for everything I recieved from my friend. They're too kind to me!!! They made the Mohammed Avdol, Serial Experiments Lain, and the injured Curly mouthwashing pins!!! The pins came in with these very beautiful pockets that have stars on them. The journal is vintage from the manga author Yumiko Tabuchi. I was very surprised to see this in the package since it was the very last one and it's just as gorgeous as the photos in the listing. The washi tape included has designs of decorative rolls of tapes with the occasional "washi" sprinkled in and the Miu Miu page came packaged with the journal when I opened it. That's definitely going on my wall somewhere. The mango hand butter was based on a response I gave my friend about what fruit Mohammed Avdol would enjoy and the mass amount of stickers I got is due to me having a sticker collection. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with over 800 legend of zelda stickers teehee.

January 4, 2025: My copy of Forever Kingdom came in way earlier than expected. The funny thing is how it arrived. I already knew it wasn't going to be in the original case sine the listing said so but I was not expecting it to come in a busted xbox 360 case for grand theft auto 5 taped up, with cover paper inside for the game itself. I saw this wrapped up case and thought to myself, "Now what if this was broken with no way to fix it?" Anyways shout out to the person who wrapped it though because that game was ultra protected AND there wasn't a single scratch on it. It's funny, the picture for the listing had the person holding it with a microfiber towel, not a single screenshot in sight. Just 2 pictures to prove that it was still functional.

A bit after struggling to cut the tape off the case, I was presented with a game that didn't look used at all. In comparison, my copy of Evergrace had a lot of scratches on it, since it was technically used by 3 different people and it was bought for $2.99 by the person before me. Forever Kingdom looked like someone bought the game, popped it in once and forgot about it. I played it for an hour, noting every difference I saw fit. Personally, I enjoyed it a bit more since there are 3 characters to switch between instead of one character. The fact that they interacted a lot too made it more enjoyable, especially since their observations about the environment they were in made certain tasks easier to understand. For example: in Evergrace, after defeating the mini boss in the human research lab there is a button that gets pressed to unlock a gate. You have a set amount of time to get over there before the gate goes back down. The issue with this is that it only shows the cutscene once and it's up to you to find the gate and hope that its open. In Forever Kingdom, certain interactions with people or things shows a cutscene that can be triggered again just in case. It's more convienent thar way. Though I still miss Sharline's valley girl accent with the vocal fry :(

I've also been painting quite a bit, mostly for the enigmatic art section that has yet to be constructed. Most of my characters have preliminary sketches and only 2 of them have been painted so far. I really should just make the section and throw in some drawings instead of stalling on it. I just hope however I decide on making it look, that it's fully functional and does't cause any issues.

January 8, 2025: I'm sick :(

January 15, 2025: I'm feeling a lot better. Still sick but I can still do things. Not much has happened, I don't live a very interesting life sadly. A lteer from my pen pal came in on Saturday :). I've been waiting since October. If I remember correctly, that was when i sent him a letter originally and the universe had it against us when it came to his turn. It took 3 tries and I have it now. I finished writing the whole letter but I'm not done with the drawing and decorating the envelope. Baller if you're reading this: haiiiii love the bracelet I wear it alll the time :3

January 17, 2025: As weird as it may seem, I've been working on a comic. It's been something I've been wanting to do for awhile now. The only issue is whether or not I'll actually release anything from it. Some people in my life have seen a bit of it; I believe around 5 concept pages of it. This is a problem because it has become a very personal project and not just something that involves my characters. A lot has changed from the original drafts that I created roughly a month ago and it became way larger than I originally anticipated. So far, theres 7 pages with the majority of it being inked. I made the decision to do everything traditionally for my own sake. Whatever I do to it will be permanent, any editing I do will be minimal and if there are words on any of it, it will be in my own handwriting. This is my personal torture lol.

I'm writing this out as if I'm being forced to do this when I decided this was the best way for me to formulate everything. I guess it does get funnier: I'm doing this entire comic in a cheap sketchbook and only using supplies that are equally as cheap. Legit anything that could be laying around is what I'm using for this. There is no special paper, there is no special pens that would make this easier. I decided to use what I already have. The paper I use works well enough since the ball point pens and gel pens I'm using don't actually smear as much like they did with my more pricer sketchbooks. I'm starting to see why this viable torture method is helping me out way more than I thought.

Again, I'll think about whether or not to release this when the time comes. It's way worse to dwell on something like this instead of letting time take its course.

January 18,2025: I'm currently building the long awaited art section. For real this time, I'm not joking. It's going a bit smoother than I thought. I just have to take a lof of photos and hope this actually looks good. I really wish I had a scanner lol instead of taking every photo by hand. Damn you broken printer.

January 27,2025: It's so weird knowing that the month will soon come to an end. It felt like I haven't done much this month, even though its only the beginning of the year and that I have nothing to worry about. I do have a few achievements for this month dsepite the feeling: I began working on a comic, something I never thought I'd get around to, I began making dolls again and I've been consistanly updating this website. I guess having something to look forward to makes life a little easier. It's obvious but whatever lol.

I had to remake the dolls I originally was going to give my friends. The first ones were made too big so I scaled them down quite a bit. They're around half the size of the ones I usually make and I plan on trying to make simple clothes for them too. One of the dolls has a gimmick with masks and one of the masks is a makeup look one of my friends showed me :). I hope the both of them like them when we get to see each other again. Hopefully I'll remember to post the dolls too after they're given out

January 30, 2025: Sometimes when the waves crash at just the right time, I can hear the fish singing. They sing of a pained existance, one full of horror and treachery. Someties I wonder when their words will cease, but I know deep down that they won't. They have nothing left except their voices.

February 2, 2025: It's the beginning of a new month. I'm a bit more excited about this month than the last by quite a lot. I decided that at the end of the month, I'll be publishing my comic on here. Massive thanks to my friends who encouraged me not to keep this to myself, even though I joked about setting it back to December 21st of this year lol. It's weird releasing something so personal on here but it's better for people to see it instead of keeping it to myself.

This is the first, and only sneak peak I will be doing for this comic. This is my character Raymond reflecting on a large aspect on his life: the odd organ that he was born with. The drawing also depicts a stylized remdition of the solar plexus.

Even more, I'm planning on getting fully into lolita fashion. My friend (the same one who sent that lovely, lovely care package) sent me a site that sells lolita fashion that has a plus size section. I'm still looking through 42Lolita to see what exactly I'd like to wear but I'm dead set of gothic lolita lol. I'm having a lot more fun with this, especially since we plan on going to an anime convention in this fashion. I hope this month is a lot nicer to me :)

February 6, 2025: I decided that some things on here needed to be revamped a bit so it's more cohesive. The links page needed some explanations for some of it so I just went ahead and got on top of that before I decided to throw more things into it. I do plan on having the art section completed by the end of this week so this site would look more complete. It's been a slow morning, it's 5:24 am as I'm writing this out. I spent a chunk of my time sculpting a doll head with some new clay I bought. It's Fimo polymer clay, very sturdy but very difficult to mix. I should've taken the warning seriously and bought clay softner too but I still have a lot of sculpey clay left over so I mixed the too. Did not expect the clay to become so sticky and a bit difficult to use. That's what I get for mixing a soft blue clay with the new clay.

So far, this is what she looks like. I decided to base it off of the painting The Birth of Venus since the fin flowing reminded me of the hair in the painting. I even have a shell that resembles the one in the painting. Obviously this doll will be too big to be fixed to it but I think it would be nice to have her holding the shell instead. Still, I'm not entirely sure about what I'm going to use as cloth for the doll since this is an impulse doll and isn't planned out at all. I'll find something good, I just dont want it to be floral this time around so it would be a bit more natural looking if you know what I mean. I probably won't paint the doll either since the colors I mixed look really lovely and I don't want to cover that up. It's pretty.

February 8, 2025: I've been thinking about this Rothko painting on and off since last night when I was painting one of my characters. The colors used ere were so pretty that I subconsciously replicated it. I was thinking about it then too. It reminds me of the sunrise though my friend said that it reminded him of the sunset. Still pretty regardless if the interpretation.

February 14, 2025: I'm definitely not taking fifty years making the art section. Definitely not. Aside from this absolute blunder, I decided to do a few quality of life changes. I didn't like how empty the hope page and about page was so I changed it to some water to fit the vibe better. I was originally struggling with the best wallpaper for it but I think this is perfect for now. I also changed the background color to the diary section since it was too bright and hurting my eyes a bit. I hope I can find a better place for that background but it didn't feel right to have it in that section. The picture for the diary section is what I took this morning when I went out to place the trash cans by the driveway at around 7 am. It's been raining on and off these past few days. It's kinda funny that we're having monsune season so late here when it usually starts in mid December to early January. But hey, rain is rain when you live in the desert lol.

These few days have been uneventful; going to work, working on my comic, remembering that I should finish the drawings for my site. It's been a bit monotonous, and the fact that I've been in pain has added to the monotony. I did break it a bit when I decided to attempt to progress some more in forever kingdom but I'm stuck in this underground section. The game truly is unforgiving but I enjoy it way more than I originally believed when I first got into this series back in......October of last year? I've been thinking about this series and Lost Kingdoms or Rune in the US. I'm convinced I watched someone in my family play that game since I heard the song Plains of Rowahl. This isn't some feeling of nostalgia but remembering something. I might ask my cousins if they know about it since they did remember playing Evergrace in the early 2000s.

Rest in peace filegarden. You will be missed

February 19, 2025: One of these days I'm going to completely revamp this site. Actually, I wouldn't go as far as to say revamp everything but I do want to remake the home page and about page. Something simple yet cohesive to the vibe of the site. Uhhhhhh yeah I don't know what else to say honestly except this comic is taking 50 million years. I have, what, 7 pages left to draw and ink? It's going fine, just a lot of black ink being used :0. I'm not sure I'll be able to finish it by next week but I hope I'll have everything done and scanned by the second week of March.

FILEGARDEN IS BACK BABEYYYYYYY

February 22, 2025: Yesterday I took down my braids after having them in for a bit too long. Everytime I put them up in a bun, the new growth would get snagged and it was very uncomfortable. It took me 2 hours to take them out and 15 minutes to completely wash my hair out. My hair did grow a bit, so that's nice but for some reason, 2 large napps are in the bottom part of my hair. I tried to detangle it but they're firm in place. I should cut those out honestly and I don't know why I havent yet. Other than that, I put in 4 large twists and called it a day...until I took them out. I'm saying this with sincerity but I look like Katt Williams right now. I looked like the girl from Polar Express yesterday and now I got that going on. I don't have cute curls at all, my shit is fucked up dawg! I fluffed it out the best I could, I tried to make it look a lil bit like a 3c blowout but it was not having it. Now everybody knows I tried to fluff out 4c hair. Embarrassing.

February 28, 2025: Another month has come to an end....saying this as if I'm not typing this at 9am. A few interesting things have happened this month but I'm more than happy to finally leave this month behind me. It felt far too long, despite the 28 days but that doesn't matter much. A few things I'd like to mention:

I completed 2 smaller dolls this month. These were the 2 I made for my friends that are half the size of the dolly I typically make. Though I haven't gotten around to making the accessories, I'm proud of how they came out. SInce I never made a doll this small before, they do look a bit weird but that's what happens when you decide to do something different from how you usually do it. I haven't taken the pictures of them yet nor given them to my friends yet. I hope they like them :)
I began working on revamping the home and about pages. I'm using the template petrapixel made since it was the easiest for me to understand. If I decide to revamp this again, I will do it by hand, though i have no issue with using templates obviously. Itinerae's template served me well, and I did love using it but with how the site looks currently, I think it's best to switch it out with something else lol
I'm going to Vegas in 2 weeks I believe just to be around some family and potentially meet a friend. I hope I'm able to see him since my family and I only go there every once in a while.

I hope next month treats me better.

diary entries